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May. 30th, 2007 @ 11:01 pm (no subject)
Current Music: Mraz
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. my wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said.... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'"
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Guy Love
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Date:May 31st, 2007 06:35 am (UTC)
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LMAO awesome
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Date:May 31st, 2007 10:39 am (UTC)
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Is this something you have experience in?
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Date:June 1st, 2007 01:50 am (UTC)
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Pee-ing? Yes!
Date:May 31st, 2007 02:29 pm (UTC)


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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other,lifting and moving them around.Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely......

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? "

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Date:June 1st, 2007 01:51 am (UTC)


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LMAO Oh my stomach!
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Date:June 1st, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
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LMAO Both of those were hilarious. Y'all are nuts. ;) LOL
Date:June 1st, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
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I met an older woman at a bar last night.

She wasn't bad for 57; we drank and bullshitted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had the 'sportsman's double', a mother and daughter threesome?

I said no.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went back to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"